Read this paragraph first! I'm aware that a lot of my readers are fans of the journal I'm about to bash. I haven't named it outright, but if you've ever read it, you'll know exactly to whom I'm referring. I'm also aware that if the owner of the aformentioned journal gets wind of this entry, he'll write at least one long, rambling entry in his own defense. I expect that, and it's fine by me. Okay, now click here and then come back and finish reading this entry.

There's a guy here on DiaryLand whose journal I used to read. (I'll call the journal FluidMojo, and I'll refer to the owner as Mr. No Mojo.) I liked it because it fit into the Soap Opera Series category. Here's how I defined the group a couple years ago: "These diarists are dreaming of one thing in particular. They write about this one thing constantly. Readers keep coming back to see if the dream in question has become reality yet." So this diarist, Mr. No Mojo, he had some kind of issue finding willing sex partners. I kept reading entry after entry hoping he'd finally have free and consensual sex, which for the average person is not too difficult.

After many months, I finally realized that the guy's predicament was hopeless. He was never going to have sex on a regular basis, or even have a one night stand here and there. I accepted his fate, took him off my list of favorite diaries, and never read his journal again...until a few weeks ago. From the two entries I read, it seems as if he still has not had sex. It's literally been years! If I'm wrong, correct me. I'll send him a congratulatory note, or maybe even an E-card if it was more than once.

Honestly, what could be the problem? He doesn't seem picky, so that can't be it. The guy must have some major issue he's not telling us about--something that's keeping the girls away, other than his cocky attitude. I mean, he goes to clubs regularly. How do you not find at least one girl who's drunk enough to have sex with you? There must be something he's not telling us. Maybe he has a tail that sticks out the back of his pants, or a third foot on his right ankle. Maybe he smells, or has a bad stutter. Something has to be wrong.

For the record, I don't hate Mr. No Mojo: I just think his journal is monotonous. Annnnddddddd maybe...possibly...I might be a little upset that he has (as of 11/20/06 at 6:34 PM EST) 105 people who list his diary as a favorite, and I only have 96. Yeah, I admitted it.

The entry's over! I didn't insult his mother, or say anything untrue. You see? That wasn't so bad, right? Good, then. I'll see you all later.