A few very important rhetorical questions (is that an oxymoron or what?) have been running through my mind, just waiting to be asked: How many people trying to lose weight drink Powerade after their workouts? How many go out to McDonald's and fetch some low-fat frozen yogurt after hitting up Curves or Bally's? How many people snack on two or three Smart Ones at a time, because just one of those nasty little trays of carb-laden food doesn't fill them up?
Here's my advice: Stop exercising (okay, just kidding, kind of), stop with the Weight Watchers and Jenny Craig. Get on Atkins. My doctor approves of it, and actually encourages it for people with diabetes. My mother, who's been a type II diabetic for almost 7 years now, will soon be taken off of her blood sugar medication by her doctor because her lesbian low-carb lifestyle stabilizes her blood sugar so well. Consistently for the past three months, her blood sugar levels have been in the non-diabetic range even after she's eaten.
This is a rare moment for me: It's an "I-feel-like-a-mommy-to-my-mommy" moment. I'm proud of her.
[Less sappiness and more frivolous entertainment coming soon, I hope promise.]
