I love biting my toenails. I love it so much, in fact, that I think I'm emotionally addicted to it. When I'm around humans, however, I can't bite my toenails. But that doesn't mean that I'm not thinking about my lovely little toes. Oh no. I pick at my toes, and find areas to bite. I make a mental map in my head. "Bite area of great toe northeast of the center of the knuckle. Bite pinky toe just south of nail bed. Peel eastern coast of toenail number seven."

What? Don't give me that look! Surely I'm not the only person who bites their toenails! And if I am, you all are missing out!

Word.