It's TailboneLust's first birthday. See, things having to do with me usually have a very short lifespan, so this is surprising to me.
Though you all haven't learned much about me besides the fact that I'm a dork, I've learned a few things about you.
1. Emotional TailboneLust entries scare you. (They scare me too.)
2. You comment when I least expect it.
3. You like quotes only if they have captions.
4. You dislike it when I say I'm going to add an entry, but don't.
5. You like to remind me of things like changing my layout and adding quotes
6. You don't sign my notes or guestbook very often.
7. You don't email me very often, but you sometimes IM me.
8. You don't like putting your URL or email address in the comments section because you think I'm a stalker.
9. You like quotes that are paired up with pictures and descriptions.
Today, you'll get quotes and descriptions. Two written pages full. (I lied; It's one page, front and back, and about 3/4 of another page, to make it even worse, some of the quotes might've already been posted on TailboneLust. But there is some good news! I just saved a bunch of money on car insurance by switching to Geico!) You won't get any pictures, but if I feel good when I'm done typing the rest of this, I'll convince The Vacuum to make a guest appearance.
"You called me a dirty slut!"
"But I meant that in a good way!"
"
"Avangalin" --How Brett spells Evangeline's name.
"Ooh! Pick me! Me! You never pick me! Ugh... It's probably 'cause I whine like that." --That just might be why.
"My mom sprinkles salt of her Girlscout cookies."
"Why would she do that?"
"She doesnt, I lied."
"She's autistic, not crazy."
"What do you mean? What does art have to do with that?"
"Anytime someone says 'eventually', I think they're calling my name." --Evangeline.
"Fuck! Arg! Fuck!" --Boy in my math class, after looking at the grade on his test paper and mashing it against his forehead.
"I nearly had... [long dramatic sigh] ...a nervous breakdown." --A drama queen.
"I'm breaking up with Zack today."
"Oh my God! No! You can't!"
"Don't play stupid with me. I'm better at it." --The wording on a kid's shirt.
"Do you have pants--plans? Plans." --Yes, plans and pants.
Putting a stuffed animal on the board before giving a presentation, The Asshole says, pointing to the toy,"This is my partner in crime, so I brought him with me here."
The teacher replies slowly,"This isn't a crime. It's school."
"Do you want some buffalo wings?"
"Nah, I don't eat buffalo."
"I don't want to live with anybody. I don't even want to live with my husband." --Good luck finding someone to marry you.
"Can we do figurative skating?" --Class jokester, when asked which sport he'd like to play next in the school gym.
"They called you white?!" --Oh no! White?! How dare they!
"Only I can call me stupid." The self-appointed 'friend' of mine. (One of the two girls in art who turned to me and said,"She can be our new friend!")
"I need a haircut. My hair's longer than me." --A very tall guy with very short hair.
"I'm going to Virginia this Friday." --A girl, already in Virginia.
"My uncle had this great idea. He would put walkie talkies in people's desk and say,'Let me out!' " --A hormonal male, trying to pick up two girls with cheesy jokes.
"Did you see my new Corvette?"
"Did you see my lawnmower?"
"Don't these glasses make me look intelligent and sexy?!" --A very large, very butch teacher, joking about her out-dated glasses.
"I've lost my pen. [mumbles] I've lost my mind..." --Same teacher, sans glasses this time.
"You sucket cocketh! I speaketh Old English!" --A boy who strangely resembles Beavis (or is it Butthead?)
"Yesterday I ate a full breakfast, two lunches, a box and a half of macaroni, and then we went to Outback [Steakhouse]."
"Oh my God, Outback has the best cheese fries. You should get them."
"And I got that, and then I had a huge steak, and two baked potatoes, and seven sodas, and half a big cake. It was, like, this high. [makes hand gesture] That's the most I've ever eaten." --Hormonal male, trying to impress girls with his manly qualities.
"Try the challenge! It's challenging." --What a clever man.
By the way, the soup didn't quite come out as planned. I forgot that rice builds up (expands) as it cooks, so I put handful after handful of rice in the soup, in an effort to make it thicker. It's definitely thick now. More like creamy rice and chicken rather than chicken no-noodle soup. The contest starts in 3 hours.
