"For 'Holiday Help' we are in need of scotch tape, wrapping paper, and sticky balls-- uh, sticky bows." -- Announcement regarding 'Holday Help'... Obviously.

"They're huge! Oh my god! They're so good! Oh my god. It's huge." --Girl talking about some type of food.

"I have a big head." --Random boy.

"What? You saw my cunt?" --What Evangeline said to me after I called her a cunt.

"I am white/My rhymes are tight" --White kid, whose 'rhymes are tight'.

Girl: "I like a 17 year old."
Me: "Oh yeah? Well I like a 45 year old. Now what?"

"Is that a Band-Aid beside her ass crack?" --See illustration below.

Boy: "Do you want a hug?"
Me: "No, I want my chair. You're blocking it."

"You have to be black to lean on a car." --Black girl, talking to her Hispanic friend in the parking lot.

"I'm a millionaire and I spend my time cleaning bathrooms." --Random boy.

"Homie, did you do your homework?" --Random boy. Again.

"I hate people who carry water bottles around. What? Are you a camel? Is this a desert? Are there not water fountains and 7-Elevens everywhere?!" --Judy

"I lost my locker." --Random boy, after forgetting his homework.

Teacher, pointing at paper on the floor: "You dropped that."
Student: "Nah, man! YOU dropped it! Fuck, yo!