Since I hadn't any tissues laying around nearby, I decided to blow my nose on my shirt. My reasoning behind that decision was this: I'm the only one in the house, the shirt is already dirty, and I'll be changing soon anyway. So what the hell? Makes sense, right? WRONG. My snot turned out to be bloody.

I'm sneezing bloody projectiles! Maybe I should rethink my attendance to a Christmas party tomorrow... I don't know of anyone who likes me enough to want to eat my bloody snot after it's landed on their Christmas cookies.

[By the way, did Madonna kiss Christina and Britney, or just Britney?]