On the bus:

It's 4:15. I'm on a bus... A school bus. [Pause for laughter and taunts.] I'm on my way to a museum. We're about 15 minutes from DC now.

Cough, cough. Cough, cough, sneeze. Cough-sneeze combo. That's all I hear. the bitch behind me, she's an addict. She can't stop coughing or saying the word "like". She's literally inches behind me. Every echoing cough drives me closer to opening the window and jumping the fuck out, right into the middle of interstate 95.

The girl in front of me is one of those goth/punk/emo kids, you know. Complete with a black and red hoodie, a black beanie, and baggy black pants with red ropes and chains hanging all over. Yeah. She's one of those Hot Topic kiddies. Right now, she's hunched over, asleep. [Dark dreams, little one.] Five minutes ago, her head was resting against the window. Four minutes and fifty-nine seconds ago, we hit a bump.

To my right, I see one of those cheap Toyotas passing us by. Yeah, even the right-laners are passing us.

Why did I get on this bus?!

n the museum:

Now we're doing typical preschool field trip stuff. You know. Potty time and all that. The bathroom is actually gorgeous, with red Asian-themed curtains and a red plush sofas.

Quote:

"Like... Oh my God. I can't, like, believe that I like... kissed Danny." -The cough-and-"like" addict.