PAYPAL FUCKING BLOWS!!!

Notice the excessive punctuation? That's supposed to imply how frustrated I am.

FUCKING HELL!

What the FUCK is your problem, PAYPAL (AKA Stupid mother fucking punk-ass website that tells me I don't need an account when it knows I really do)?!

Alright... I type in my credit card information. Type in whatever else... It tells me I already have an account. GUESS WHAT, PAY-FUCKING-PAL, I DON'T HAVE AN ACCOUNT! IF I DID, I'D BE USING IT, FUCK ASS!

I delete all the cookies and temporary internet files on my computer and try again. Same thing. I use a different email address... Type in all my information... Click continue... Click continue again... And BAM! I'm on Pay-fucking-Pal's main page. WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED?!

I check the card and see that no money has been withdrawn. So of course, I click my mouse button a few times. CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK (Sounds like a rap video.) Nothing happens.

I start all over again...

I go to Diaryland.com, click the "GOLD!" banner that seems to show up more often than real banners, click "Buy SuperGold for a year", and enter all of my credit card information. It tells me, AGAIN, that that information belongs to another account.

NO! It's MY account, dammit, MY account that YOU told ME I didn't HAVE to make!

PLEASE! TAKE MY MONEY, PAYPAL! I NEED THAT SUPERGOLD DIARYLAND MEMBERSHIP NOW!

TAKE MY MONEY!!!