Today, I brushed my hair for the first time in years. Well, not really. But it sure as hell felt like it's been years since the last brushing! O.o

What the hell? What have I ever done to you, besides bleaching you, dyeing you over a dozen times, and rarely letting you down? Come on! I would never let a hair dryer near you! I condition you daily, and only strip you of your lovely natural oils (IE, shampoo you) every other day! You treat me so harshly, when all I've done is treated you with respect! Prickling my boobies through my shirts when I put you up in pigtails?! Stop it, man! What the hell is wrong with you?! Don't you know that hurts? Have you seen the looks I get while stroking Moxy and Trixy because of the hurt you caused them? Do you know how many times I've had horny male teenagers say "Hey, I'll rub them for you!"? Do you know how much I despise males? (Okay, so maybe I don't completely hate all males, but I have had strangers [Okay... one male friend] offer to help me out because of you.)

Also, to the makers of hair conditioner, I hate you all. Stop with the "won't weigh your hair down" crap! I WANT YOU TO WEIGH MY HAIR DOWN! Let it know who's boss! Let it know that it can't just bounce around wherever it pleases! Beat my hair into shape, force it to lay straight!

Damn you.