[Withheld]: what kind of bed should i get

Stale Freshness: Get a race car bed!

[Withheld]: oh yeah!

Stale Freshness: I'm serious. I would love to have a race car bed.

[Withheld]: those rule

Stale Freshness: I'm not joking. I want a red one.

[Withheld]: you know what would be phat?

Stale Freshness: Anorexia! lol what

[Withheld]: an actual car O.o

Stale Freshness: Ew. No.

[Withheld]: no?! hell yeah

Stale Freshness: I like the fake ones.

[Withheld]: but you can take a real one outside to wash and wax

Stale Freshness: Bah.

[Withheld]: pleeeeeease?

[Withheld]: haha, why am i asking you?

Stale Freshness: You don't have to wash plastic race car beds. You just spill apple sauce on them (and vaginal secretions) and you leave it there because it fits the theme of it all. Dirty plastic always works..

[Withheld]: apple sauce huh

Stale Freshness: Yeah. Little kids eat apple sauce and they spill it on their shiny new red race car beds.

[Withheld]: oh. yeah they do. stupid kids

Stale Freshness: The vaginal secretions are just an added touch to make it feel more... modern.