Today, I read up on contraceptive sponges. Apparently, you just wet it (with water), pop it in, and leave it. You can have as much condomless sex as humanly possible without having to take it out for 24 hours. That's cool. It promotes spontaneity (and STDs). However...here's the deal breaker. There are two, really.

1. This stupid sponge is only around 90% effective when used perfectly! Worse than that, women who've had children get a whopping 25% failure rate with the sponge. What the hell?! Sorry, I want more of a guarantee.

2. Here's the real deal breaker. Two of the leading brands of sponges have to be left in for at least six hours post-sex. WHAT?! I don't want a sopping wet, juice-filled sponge in me for six hours!