Guess what I just spent the last half hour doing? Come on. Guess. Alright, you give up.

I was scooping out, with a cereal bowl, bloody, red toilet water. Yes. Red. Red, as in blood. In water. Toilet water. Bloody toilet water.

Why? Because one of our toilets is clogged up. Because of me. Me and my blood. My blood and my menstrual cups. And me. Menstrual cups don't flush, Pancake! So why do I flush them? Because of OB tampons. Because of them. I've gotten used to my pretty little fully-flushable tampons, with their pretty little barely-there wrappers, and their non-existent applicators. (Dat means dey ain't got none, chumps.) I've been flushing my menstrual cups. I've been clogging up toilets.

Today, I went potty. In the aformentioned clogged toilet. Before my mind had a chance to undergo the "Oh, shit! Wait! Don't drip!" thought process, the toilet water was already red. (Actually, it was orange.) So... I flushed the already clogged toilet. And the water rose. And rose. And then, it stopped. Two inches away from spilling over its red (actually orange) contents, and it stopped. So you know what I did? I got a cereal bowl and I scooped and scooped. I scooped until you [almost but not quite] needed a microscope just to see the puddle of red orange water at the bottom of the toilet bowl. Then, I added fresh water, clear water, to the toilet bowl.

Now, the toilet bowl's clean. And...the other bowl...The cereal bowl...Isn't.

So, who's coming over for breakfast?