I talked to this girl during gym (I usually never talk to her) and I laughed nonstop for about an hour. She showed me her toe... Half of one of her toenails was torn off! She told me about how it happened... "I was in the hallway, and all of a sudden I felt a sharp pain in my foot. I thought someone had just stepped on my toe, but when I looked down, half of my toenail was missing! It must've been someone with a SHARP fucking spike for a heel! I've been thinking about tearing off the other half. [As she said the last sentence, she rubbed her chin thoughtfully then she turned towards me and asked:] Should I cut the other half off, or paint the skin?" It was hilarious.
This same girl murdered Dickface on May 8th, 2003. RIP Dickface <3. Here's the [ENTIRELY true] story: Clare and I were walking around outside during gym, and I saw a caterpillar and swooped down to pick it up. Clare had this "WHAT THE FUCK?!" look on her face. But soon enough, she too crouched down and joined the caterpillar and I. I decided to take it with me. We named it Dickface. Yes, Dickface and I had fun... ::dramatic sigh:: It all went downhill when I took it into the gym room, however. Clare and I started showing it to people, and Kathryn (The murderer) was terrified of it. So her 'friend', thinking it would be funny to scare the shit out of Kathryn, put Dickface on Kathryn's head. She froze, then shrieked and swiped my new friend off. She then proceeded to stomp on my new [dead] friend. I shrilled and called out "DICKFACE!" But he was dead by then. RIP Dickface. I'll always love you. Epilogue: With the caterpillar smushed on the floor, I decided that it would be funny to accuse passer-by's of killing him. I got three responses: "I didn't do it! I didn't mean to! I'm sorry!" Poor thing. He really did look sorry. "I did? Oh well. Heh. ::looks at bottom of feet::" Uh... Yeah. I know that's just two... I forgot the rest.
Yesterday afternoon, I had a spectacular dream (really). Elisa and I were driving along [somehow], and there happened to be delicious-looking, big-breasted women wearing tight gold vinyl dresses walking alongside the road. (They were NOT prostitutes.) Everytime I saw one, I would point and scream "WOW WOW WOW!" Elisa got really annoyed by this. I haven't told her about my dream yet, so... ELISA! IF YOU'RE READING THIS: Wow wow wow. CHEESE! Incidentally, I had been looking at pictures of Marilyn Monroe right before I had that dream. I put two brand spanking new Duracell batteries in my CD player less than two hours ago, and they just died. :(
